wishing, dreaming, pondering, wondering, are all nice but not realistic to what is going on with my life. There is a definite someone new in my life that I am starting to like more and more everyday, but I can't wish for something more to happen between us because I am tired of disappointment from falling for people who aren't just into me. I am over my ex but I have not forgotten about all he did that hurt me and broke me when I needed someone to help me be better. I have been guarded since the break up, and being very cynical when it comes to men/boys. I am letting go of my crossed fingers behind my back when I am with my crush and just letting go to see what happens.
the last two days were torture, and I am trying so hard not to break completely and go certifiable crazy. family drama is by far the worse drama and because of my past of having two different personalities, one with my family and one with my friends is starting to take a tool on me. But in all reality when I tried to merge both it had ended up being more of a mess and just to much to clean up. I feel like I cant date anyone even casually with all the things that are going on with my life. I wouldn't even date me, let alone ask myself out on a date. This outer shell that many people have seen around me is just protecting myself and everyone else around me from getting sucked into the blackhole that I am already in.
the biggest dork in the greater el paso area
Jackie Joy
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