Doing some soul searching

will report back when I find anything that is of any interest.
<3
Jackie Joy

Witty, Insightful and a Literary Rock Star in my book

A night with Daniel Handler aka Lemony Snicket author of the Series of Unfortunate Events

While most of El Paso citizens were out and about on this semi good weather Saturday night, I, Jackie Joy, braved all circumstances and walked 30 miles in heels to see, hear and maybe touch the author of the critically proclaimed author,somewhat cynic, always hilarious, once under a pseudonym Lemony Snicket, Daniel Handler at the Plaza Theater in bustling downtown El Paso, Texas. Well, I might have exaggerated a tad on the circumstances of how I got to the Plaza Theater, but its really all irrelevant to the star of this blog Daniel Handler and his amazing abilities to transform his ideas to words to books to well you get the point.
I arrived early as I always do when it comes to these kind of events, bought the tickets for a friend and I, and waited patiently, oh so patiently to see the man behind one of my favorite books that I read as a child. Also waiting in front of the theater was an infestation of bored parents and over hyped kids.
Sergio, my companion in my random recent El Paso adventures, finally arrived and the waiting continued. The whole week leading up to this night, I have been thinking of questions that I would want to ask Daniel Handler, all were well how should I put it very intriguing. For the life of me I could not think of a mind blowing question that did not sound like it came out of a interview in Harper's Bazaar.
Eventually we were seated and in the theater and long and behold came out the infamous Mr. Handler. From reading his books, his presence was exactly how I imagined it to be like. His voice boomed through the theater and the lecture was interesting, amazing, compelling, and just plain wow. Here are some interesting main points from his lecture:
1. He plays the accordion.
2. He is hilarious
3. He threw books that he didn't like when he was little against the walls of his room.
4. Lemony Snicket came about from a fluke conversation with a Republican while he was working in the Computer Department of the City College of San Francisco
5. He is witty.
6. He is really down to earth and is not pretentiously snobby from the fame he has acquired from his books.
There is more to be said about the lecture, but its really something that you had to be there to really appreciate and understand. Afterwards, Sergio and I waited for about an hour to get our books signed and to take pictures with Daniel Handler. We ended up to be the last ones to get our books signed and due to all the excitement, I can't really remember clearly what exactly I had asked him last night. What I do remember asking him were really silly questions which I am sorry Mr. Handler if you thought I was crazy for asking you:
1. If you wanted to go eat Whataburger with us? ( he said no)
2. If you knew Amy Tan ( he said yes! and they are friends!)
3. If he played for the Rock Bottom Remainders ( again he said yes)
All the other questions were a blur, and the picture is priceless. Last night by far was one of my happiest days of my life, top ten for sure.
Till I write again,
Jackie Joy

I love sitting outside at night

I love sitting outside at night in the back patio of my aunts house and watch the clouds slowly pass by the mountains. The presence of time doesn't seem to exist and all is left is the present, the now, the it. That is when I feel at the up most ultimate peace, when I am with nature. Its something I can't really explain, and I wish I could bottle up this peace and share it with all the ones in my life who are in desperate need of it. The week is almost over, and I think all the over thinking has driven me to the brink of insanity.
There is nothing else I can think of writing about, my mind is not awake, my soul is still asleep, and I am here dreading the long day ahead.
Jackie Joy

Future Plans-Completly tentative

I really envy those who know what they want to do with their life, who have their life all planned out. To be more specific I really envy those who are lucky enough to find a career that they aspire to be and find a degree that goes directly into achieving their dream of being in that career.Since deciding not into going into the medical field, I have been up in arms in pure confusion of what I should do with my life. I know what I want to do, but there is not for the most part a degree plan and a path already made out for me by other people who have aspired to be now hold on to your beautiful britches, because besides a few of my close friends and family, I have not really told many people what I really really wanted to do as a career. I want to head a N.P.O( none profit organization) specializing in helping battered, abused, sexually assaulted women, children and homosexuals in lower social economic areas of the United States. That or join the circus and be a clown. I kid, I kid, but with the education I hope to receive will help to educate women and children to be strong and independent and tools to be successful in their life.
I don't know if my dreams are ambitious or just plain silly. But as far as I am concerned I hope, wait cross out hope and put in will, I will get a degree in psychology with a minor in English, take 2 years in the Peace/Ameri Corps and either receive my masters through them or get the money to go to a really good school for my masters, establish connections in a city in need of N.P.O and work on my P.H.D while opening up or working for a N.P.O
Those are my dreams, the stars I want to reach, I am not asking for a million bucks, or to be famous, I just hope to make a real positive change in the world.
Jackie Joy

Writers Block

Its going around, and I have definitely have gotten the best of it. Which is horrible, if you have to write papers for a class and not just for fun.
sigh
Jackie Joy

poem

Sand in the bottom of my purse-dedicated to Anthony Liberati
I found sand in the bottom of my purse
from that one day
last summer
when the weather was just right
and we grabbed our swimsuits
the ultimate mix tape
and drove 85 mph
on the express way
with the windows down
wind blowing in our hair
without a care in the world

the sky was clear
the sun was welcoming and warm
as we got closer and closer to the beach
the stickiness of humidity
was all over us
pushing us to just
want to take off all our clothes
and jump into the ocean

the emotions washed over us
like the waves crashing against the shore
and next thing you knew
we were in our swim suits
holding each other’s hand
and embracing
the inevitable first
jump into the water

I smiled when I found that sand
in the bottom of my purse
from that one day
last summer
and remembered how we
were
and how much I miss you

There is something to be said about October

The year is quickly coming to a end, and oh how time flies when you are having fun. 3 years ago, if you would have asked me hey Jackie, one day you are going to be living out of your house and going to school in El Paso, I would have laughed at you and changed the subject. But doesn't that just trip you out, that the most memorable moments in your life are the ones that you least expect it? I don't feel rooted to a certain person, place or thing. So I wonder if that is a bad thing, to not feel rooted, to know that I will be ok in any place I move to even if I am 1 million and 2 miles away from every I care and love. I guess with modern technology, it softens the blow of distance between me and loved ones. I love the phone calls from my friends, while I am sitting outside in my backyard looking at the decent of clouds floating by and as the day turns to night. As the night air engulfs me, cradles me in some of my recent tribulations, I thank God, for the support system I have that lift me up even when I feel I cant seem to want to move. I have no regrets of the decisions that have lead me to where I am at now, I have made mistakes, there is no doubt about it. But, I have come to peace with the past, I have drown strength from it, and realized that I am who I am, I am not perfect and still have problems and bundles of stuff I need to work on.

Now the hard part is finding peace with the present and embracing the very unpredictable future.

Jackie Joy