Feelings and emotions at any given moment in my past hold more precedence in my life then most memories filled with mundane details. However, at the same time,the ones that hurt the most when remembered are the ones tucked away in a little corner of my mind, with a "do not disturb" sign on its door. You know when you close your eyes and you try to get away and think of happy moments in your past, happy moments you want to create and the feelings that you felt at a certain moment and it just makes reality so much easier to deal with. I am trying so hard right now to find that happy moment where I felt complete and ultimate bliss. Who am I kidding, I doubt I ever felt that, the awww yes this is the life moment. I have become very close it to, when I lay in the beach with a book and listen to the waves crash against the shore while I get lost in the book, or when I am with my friends and when we laugh about something, anything until we are rolling on the floor and our stomach hurts from all the laughter, or when I get a phone call from someone I really care about and the instant smile and warmth that fills my soul as I hear their voice..etc.Those moments are dear, dont get me wrong, and I treasure all of them, I really do, but its not it. Maybe I am going crazy, which could really be the case, because I am a bit odd, and all of this searching for oh my god pure happiness moment is silly because it just might be something that only happens once in your life, and I just havent had it yet.Just maybe.
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Jackie Joy
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